I said I was going to aim for new content every Tuesday, but of course, when you miss one week, then another, and another... I thought the idea of forcing myself to do a weekly post was the discipline I needed to force myself to write, but for the most part my focus has been on a couple of different things I have on my plate: work, photography, my cat, the New York trip, and the business of trying to keep a semblance of responsible adulthood.
I recently finished Dani Shapiro's Still Writing; I strongly recommend it to anyone who has trouble breaking into that zone where it's just you, your fingers, and the words that magically appear on the screen when you hit the keys. This was a book I needed to read: I've been having trouble getting started writing in the last little while (even blogging doesn't come as easily as it did five years ago), and there were parts that really seemed to address specific blocks I usually encounter when I try to do these posts. I want to make every blog post count, but often when I start a new one, it either feels like it's:
a) using a lot of words to say nothing
b) revealing too much
c) something that was said more effectively in a Facebook/Twitter status
I don't know if this is related to the book, but I've begun to notice that my head often feels full of noise, and the world seems to be filtered through a combination of running commentary on what I'm doing right at that second, fragments of songs and quotes from Youtube videos going through my head, and hypothetical future scenarios, among other things. Being aware of my overactive brain, I've been trying to just stop the train of thought I find myself being dragged on, and to just take in what's happening around me. A few weeks ago, I wasn't feeling like I had the mental focus to write, do chores, or generally engage with other people online besides the passive "like", so I decided to just lie down and listen to the rain that was coming down outside the window. I don't know why, but doing this really seemed to help.
I've given up on the idea of a scheduled blog post on this site, but now that I'm a bit more aware of some of my habits and processes, I'm at least more open to losing myself in the writing again instead of worrying that I'm not saying anything worth sharing. Whether that leads to more regular posting still needs to be answered.