Personal website of photographer and writer Ben Douwsma.
Hey all, it’s been a little while since I’ve posted a personal entry, but there really hasn’t been much to report since the beginning of the year. Most of my focus has been on work, sleep, spending time with the cat and writing SNL reviews, and that leaves precious little time for much else. That said, I know there are a few people who are curious as to what I’ve been up to these days, and I don’t want to write the same e-mail multiple times, so here’s as good a place to write it.
I decided against going out for New Years Eve tonight. Chalk it up to exhaustion and cheapness; I just don’t feel like making the effort to go down to the peninsula or spend a lot of money on drinks tonight, even though tomorrow gives me ample time to recover. I spent most of last week at my parents’ place in Miramichi, and figured I may as well take advantage of this long block of alone time before the routine starts up in the new year.
I didn’t sleep well on Sunday night. It’s easy for me to sleep the weekend away, but as soon as I have to prepare my body to go to bed and wake up at specific times of the day, my mind starts filling with fragments of songs, random questions that don’t need answering, and hypothetical conversations I could possibly have. When my brain starts making this much noise, I always have trouble ignoring it.
I’m currently in one of my moods where I feel the need to take a break from people whenever I can. I’m not sure if this is the depression flaring up again, but my energy’s been lower than usual and I’ve been minimizing the amount of time I spend in public outside of work.
I haven’t bothered writing since last Monday; it was a fairly hectic week at work, and I found myself falling asleep for hours as soon as I got home. Whenever I came to and tried to work on something, the cat would decide that she would lie down on my computer keyboard, and by the time she stopped playing that game with me, it would be time to go to bed anyway. Autumn’s adorable and I love her, but she really knows how to push my buttons. I guess that’s the thing about cats.
As expected, I slept the weekend away and didn’t concern myself with getting anything posted while I recovered from whatever it was that was laying me low last week.
I was exhausted pretty much all day yesterday, to the point where right after I got home, I slept for about three hours. Even after waking up to call my dad for his birthday and make dinner, I was still tired enough after midnight to pass out in my bed with all the lights in my apartment still on.
My brain’s been feeling off again this week. I’m not sure if the trigger is external or internal, but some familiar feelings started to creep back in last night: one minute I’m eating stew I made in the slow cooker, the next I feel emotional heaviness I haven’t felt in a long time.
I didn’t post anything the last few days because I felt under the weather for most of the weekend; nothing major, but I had a bad headache and didn’t have much energy. I was thinking of originally backdating posts to make it look like I was posting every day, but I decided against it.
It’s an unusually quiet day today. To stop myself from nodding off while I wait for e-mails or phone calls, I decided I needed to open a new entry and type whatever comes into my head without overthinking everything as I usually do. Maybe this is the key toward expression, or maybe this is foolishness, but I’m going to ride it out and head wherever the muse takes me.
Sketches include “Monastery”, “Miss Pregnant Teenage America”, “The Pat Stevens Show”, “The Limits Of The Imagination”, “Name That Tune”, “Master Thespian”, and “Concerto”. Al Green performs “Going Away” and “True Love”.
Sketches include: “Press Conference”, “Gulf Coast Furniture Warehouse” “Cleveland Vice”, “Death of a Gunfighter”, “Hospital”, “That Black Girl”, “Big Ball Of Sports”, “No Offense” and “Jack’s Discount Emporium”. The Replacements perform “Bastards Of Young” and “Kiss Me On The Bus”. Sam Kinison also appears.
Sketches include “Rapping Wrapper”, “A Dozen Eggs”, “Hildy”, “A Roy Orbison Christmas”, “The Big Tree”, and “Time Machine Trivia Game”. Dream Academy performs “Life In A Northern Town”. The Cult performs “She Sells Sanctuary”. Penn & Teller also appear.
Sketches include “Entertainment Tonight”, “Trojans II”, “Liars at Home”, “The Pat Stevens Show”, “Fantasy”, “Stand-Ups”, “Holiday Moms”, and “Fisherman”. Sade performs “Is It A Crime” and “The Sweetest Taboo”. Steven Wright also appears.
Sketches include “Halley’s Comet”, “Posterior Arthropod”, “Master Thespian”, “Double R Rolls”, “Ad Council”, “Cliches”, “Vegas Nancy”, “U.S.S. Cameron”, and “The Limits of the Imagination”. Mr. Mister performs “Broken Wings” and “Kyrie”. Sam Kinison also appears.
Sketches include “Tightrope”, “Say No”, “Locker Room”, “Pee-Wee’s Thanksgiving Special”, “The Pat Stevens Show”, “Die Foreigner Die!”, “Big House”, “Dinosaur Town”, “Love Letter”, “Pregnancy Tips”, and “Money Magnetism Seminar”. Queen Ida and the Bon Temps Zydeco Band perform “La Louisiane” and “Frisco Zydeco”.
Sketches include “Firefighters”, “Wacky Glue”, “The Pat Stevens Show”, “Ford & Reagan”, “Trojans (I)”, “Those Unlucky Andersons”, “Jose Cuervo’s Party School Bowl”, “The Jose Cuervo Institute”, “The Life of Vlad the Impaler”, “The Blue, The Gray, And The Yellow”, “Drums Drums Drums”, “Pathological Liars Anonymous”, and “Craig Sundberg: Idiot Savant”. Sheila E. performs “Hollyrock” and “A Love Bizarre”.
Sketches include: “Drug Testing”, “Where You’re Going”, “National Inquirer Theatre”, “Pinklisting”, “Critic”, “The Jones Brothers”, “El Spectaculare De Marika”, “Royal Visit”, “The Limits of the Imagination” and “Coloring Book”. Simple Minds perform “Alive and Kicking”. Penn & Teller also appear.
Lorne Michaels stepped away from Saturday Night Live after the show’s fifth season, and his creation was kept alive by other producers, writers and actors for the next five years; when he returned to the show in 1985, he had a whole new cast, but many of the behind-the-scenes personnel were those who had been associated with his original five year tenure, and there were a handful of additions that would shape the show’s tone and look for years to come. Because the Jean Doumanian and Dick Ebersol eras each had their own specific directions and mostly unique personnel. one wonders what the show would have been like if Michaels had stuck around during that time. There are a few hints of what a Michaels-helmed SNL would have looked like in two of his TV productions during that period: Steve Martin’s Best Show Ever, a special Martin did for NBC in November 1981, and The New Show, Michaels’ ill-fated return to weekly network television
I was hoping to keep up a two-post-a-week schedule for a little while, but I’ve been feeling a little burnt out from the extra work this project takes and need a break from the whole process for the rest of the month.