It's one of those days where the light and atmosphere shifts from hour to hour, warm sun briefly giving way to dark clouds and the slight chill in the air that portends rain, especially when combined with humidity. A pregnancy of sorts. The sun's back, but from the window in the Hydrostone Starbucks, it looks like there's a slight breeze. I love the quick moments when a cloud passes by the sun on otherwise clear days, creating brief shifts in the light and a quick reprieve from the intense brightness. Bright sun is overrated anyway.
I think about writing and photography a lot these days. I want to get my voice and eye back, or to finally find them in the first place, before I consider doing it for money again. Maybe I'm so far in my own head that I can't truly see or hear what's going on around me, and everything coming out of my own fingers is just a stilted imitation of what I think is going on, like someone making the sounds phonetically but not quite familiar with the intricacies and rules of the language.
What is it that brings me to photography? It could be that I want to learn how to preserve the fleeting moments for posterity. Joyous abandon, a fresh haircut, a shift in the light. It's a sort of power against the inevitable. There's a rigidity in my work; it gives away that I've been trying to stage these moments from flimsy preconceptions.
I want to take the pictures of all the people I know who will be leaving Halifax this year. I don't know the specific number other than "too many."
I want to take the pictures of all the people whose company I don't get to experience enough.
I feel like this blog needs to have a greater purpose besides being a place to occasionally write oblique posts about my feelings. The best blogs give me a sense that I know the author and the world they inhabit, but I don't think I give the same impression, aside from that of a frustrated dilettante-ish thirtysomething who's afraid of commitment and knows way too much about a certain long-running TV show.
Maybe I need to start reviewing books, bars, albums, or restaurants. At the very least, I think I need some new adventures.