The end of another year

I decided against going out for New Years Eve tonight. Chalk it up to exhaustion and cheapness; I just don’t feel like making the effort to go down to the peninsula or spend a lot of money on drinks tonight, even though tomorrow gives me ample time to recover. I spent most of last week at my parents’ place in Miramichi, and figured I may as well take advantage of this long block of alone time before the routine starts up in the new year.

This year hasn’t been too bad; between starting a new job, going to New York, and finally being open about my sexuality, there was a bit more forward momentum compared to years past. I started reviewing old SNL episodes again (something that always fell by the wayside when I was depressed). I’m doing considerably better mentally than I was two years ago or even last year. I figured I may as well enjoy this hard-won stability while it lasts; right now the only changes I want to make for 2019 are to get enough rest (meds make me sleepy), and to try to spend a certain amount of time each week reading, working on creative projects, or being social. Sometimes I go long periods of time without meeting up with people outside of work for beer and coffee and then I overcompensate with a big planned get-together, but I’m going to try to do some more low-key intimate meet-ups, especially since I have a lot of friends in the area who I haven’t seen in a little while, and want to make better effort to see them (taking into consideration things like kids, health concerns and mutually inconvenient commutes).

I’ve been thinking a lot more about mortality these days. A few friends suffered devastating losses this last year, while some others got bad news of their own from their respective doctors. While their stories are not mine to tell, I realize this sort of thing is only going to happen to more people I know (and inevitably, myself) as time goes on, to the point where I wonder how much attention I need to pay to certain aches and pains or lapses in memory. 36 seemed so much older when I was a kid.

I’m glad to have returned to blogging, though, and if you didn’t read these already, here are some posts of mine I liked the most:

A request for personal e-mails - thanks to all those who responded to this so far, and feel free to send me one if you haven’t already.
Letters (ghosts)
New York travel diaries
Out - my post for National Coming Out Day

Thanks for reading this year, and I hope you’ll join me in the next.