I apologize for not writing in here for a few weeks, and on personal (ie. non-dream, non-abstract thoughts) matters for even longer. My plan to write in a cafe at the same time each week hit a snag mid-month, partially due to bad weather, partially due to boredom with the routine, and partially due to energy levels. I'm at Humani-T Cafe on South Park Street right now, trying to just get the flow back by listening to Todd Rundgren. There are a few seeds I'm planning to elaborate on here a little later in the post, so keep reading to figure out what they are.
The big news right now is that I've accepted a new job beginning next month. As a rule, I don't specify where I work or what I do in this space, but I'm looking forward to the change, and it sounds like the kind of work I know I do well. I'm still not quite at the "immediately move to the Halifax peninsula" stage yet; I just want to enjoy not having to worry about a job hunt for a little while while looking for ways to save a little money, pay down debt, and go out every now and then.
I hadn't been going out as often as I had been at the end of last month; I made it down to a friend's birthday party last week, but for the most part I've been apartment-bound aside from errands (always gotta keep Autumn rolling in cat treats). There were a few nights where my brain was hyperactive but my body was exhausted, neither of which were especially conducive to socializing or cafe writing time. I've also had some bad headaches in the last week or so; I'm chalking that to the weather. On the weekends, I still feel myself tethered to the bed, even more so when there's a purring cat on it. There are a zillion things I need to get done around the apartment, but there doesn't seem to be enough hours in a day to do them, and less so when you feel like a zombie after work.
I've been reading and listening to music again, though. I don't see myself becoming a full-on book blogger (I can recommend a few local ones, though), but I've been showing off the things I've been reading on Instagram and sharing thoughts on them I was on a heavy jazz kick for a little while, making my way through the works of Miles Davis, Bill Evans, Charles Mingus and Pat Metheny during my work day; the last week or so has been more of an 80s Alternative kick (think R.E.M. and The Replacements). Spotify has been a lifesaver the last little while. I want to get back into podcasts again but I've mainly been sticking to LOL UR GAY because I know the hosts and don't want to collapse into sobs while listening to a particularly emotionally devastating or resonant episode of another show.
My birthday's coming up in a little more than a week (if you're inclined, you can buy me a little something). I decided to arrange another get-together next week (if I neglected to invite you, let me know), partially to celebrate, partially because it's been a while since I arranged something like this (6 months to be exact), and partially because I feel bad about not calling people for coffee/beer/hangouts (I am an anxious wreck about that kind of thing, though, so I prefer the formal "gathering"). Last year I wasn't really in a great frame of mind to actually celebrate (depressed, contract job ended), though I did hold a small belated gathering at Charlie's Club a month later (mainly as an excuse to go to Charlie's). My circle of friends in the city have been part of a few good birthdays in previous years: the surprise party at Steve's place two years ago that my younger sister had secretly come down for, the evening at the Foggy Goggle where I met a few cool people for the first time, the dinner at Mother's Pizza where an old friend from high school came by with her sister's family. Even before moving to Halifax, I've had some very good birthdays: the impulsive cab ride to Amherst with Alec and Wilson when we were all at Mount Allison University, the visit to Sackville shortly after I left Mount A, the visits with out-of-town friends around my 30th (which I was keeping pretty low-key about). Sometimes I need the reminder that I am loved like this outside of blood family, and I think about these moments to remind myself of good people.
Life can be sweet even if I can't fully feel it sometimes.