I'm trying to make good on my intention to update this thing more often, but it's hard to be motivated to write when you're so exhausted.Read More
Personal website of photographer and writer Ben Douwsma.
It’s been a little while since I’ve posted here.
I’m in a weird headspace this week, and it’s not one I like.
My energy has been off for the past little while, and most of my free time usually involves me sleeping or wanting to be back home to sleep. I don’t know whether this is a side effect of my medication, some other underlying medical reason, or just another depressive spell. A lot of the time I don't want to do anything enough to endure the slightest bits of effort they take.
I took a short break from social media last weekend; I’m not sure what specifically triggered it, but when I made a deliberate choice not to check in on my feeds, it felt good. I decided to take another hiatus from starting after work today and lasting until the morning of the 23rd. I haven’t felt like I had enough focus, motivation or energy lately (and definitely wasn’t using it to be social), so I hope this will help with that and let me find my voice again.
I’m leaving Facebook Messenger on my phone because family members use that to check in, but I also appreciate e-mails (email@example.com) or text messages (not posting my number here, sorry).
I used to write longer e-mails to people; I still do this for a handful of people, but I’m finding it harder to come up with the words in private correspondence, especially when so much is already said elsewhere online with just a double-tap or an emoji. These days I’ve been finding it easier to sort my emotions and think through experiences on here than to hash them out in private.
Even though this is in a public space, I hope you feel like that by reading this you’re connecting with me on some personal level. My favorite writing online always has this sense of intimacy to it and a sense that it’s one person trying to connect with each of their readers as individuals.
I had a depressive episode last week. I’m doing better now, but it brought back memories of two years ago when this state was more common. I’m not sure what (if anything) triggered it; I’m just going about my business and then all of a sudden I’m in a mood where I’m dreading and consciously minimizing interactions with others. I just hid in my cubicle on Friday, trying to endure the day, and as soon as I got out of work I was in a hurry to get off the Halifax peninsula. I knew I was in no mood to cook, so I stopped off at Mary Brown’s for dinner, and then once I got home I just stayed in bed for most of the weekend.
I was going to write another entry about how winter’s been wearing me down (particularly the physical aspect of traipsing over insufficiently cleared sidewalks), but I already explored that subject in the last few posts and it’s already March, so I’m just going to give another short update on what I’ve been up to, what I’ve been thinking about, and what’s on the horizon.
Not much exciting going on these days; winter still has me mainly seeking warm apartments and minimizing time outside. The last few days brought a snow storm and freezing rain that turned my apartment building’s driveway into an impassable frozen hazard for a few hours, and this morning brought bitterly cold wind. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been so tired in the last little while.
Hey all, it’s been a little while since I’ve posted a personal entry, but there really hasn’t been much to report since the beginning of the year. Most of my focus has been on work, sleep, spending time with the cat and writing SNL reviews, and that leaves precious little time for much else. That said, I know there are a few people who are curious as to what I’ve been up to these days, and I don’t want to write the same e-mail multiple times, so here’s as good a place to write it.
I decided against going out for New Years Eve tonight. Chalk it up to exhaustion and cheapness; I just don’t feel like making the effort to go down to the peninsula or spend a lot of money on drinks tonight, even though tomorrow gives me ample time to recover. I spent most of last week at my parents’ place in Miramichi, and figured I may as well take advantage of this long block of alone time before the routine starts up in the new year.
Sketches include “Vietnam Story”, “AT&T”, “Nancy’s Workout”, “Lyndon LaRouche Theatre”, “30 Second Count”, “Big Time Professional Golf”, “Love Scene”, “Master Thespian” and “The Further Adventures of Biff and Salena”. Laurie Anderson performs “Babydoll” and “The Day The Devil”. Penn & Teller also appear.
Sketches included “Backstage”, “John Cougar Mellencamp’s Looking At America”, “The Pat Stevens Show”, “Cabrini Green”, “The Wart Hog”, “I Play The Maids”, “Actors On Film”, “Craig Sundberg, Idiot Savant”, “The Cute Shop”, and “One-Shoe Emma”. Joe Jackson performs “Right and Wrong” and “Soul Kiss”.
Sketches include “Pep Talk”, “The Honeymooners: The Lost Episodes”, “Commercials”, “Mystery Playhouse”, “That Black Girl”, “Whale”, “Actors”, “Ghost of Thespians Past”, “Vietnam Sketch”, “Suitcase Boy” and “Finale”. Philip Glass and the Philip Glass Ensemble perform “Lightning” and “Rubric”.
Sketches include: “Rumors”, “Double R Marcos”, “Mr. Monopoly”, “You Bet Your Finger”, “Bad Seed”, “Buon Giorno Ireland Buon Giorno”, “Two Jones Cable Installers”, “You Can Pick Your Friends, You Can Pick Your Nose, But Your Can’t Pick Your Friend’s Nose”, “Business Beat”, and “Tea and Sympathy”. Rosanne Cash performs “Hold On” and “I Don’t Know Why You Don’t Want Me”. Penn & Teller also appear.
Sketches include “Studio Tour”, “Target Earth”, “Dinner With Mike”, “Star Search”, “Evil Twin”, “Stand-Ups”, “Man Beat” and “The Further Adventures of Biff and Salena”. The Neville Brothers perform “The Big Chief” and “The Midnight Key”.
Sketches include “Bar”, “The Limits of the Imagination”, “Models Against The Wilderness”, “Master Thespian”, “Line of Death”, “The Pat Stevens Show” and “Sore Toe”. Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble perform “Say What!” and “Change It”. Sam Kinison also appears.
Sketches include “Risky Business”, “The Pat Stevens Show”, “Dalkon Shield Trout Lure”, “Back To The Future”, “The Limits Of The Imagination”, “Shakespeare In The Slums”, and “David’s Date”. The Nelsons perform “Walk Away” and “Do You Know What I Mean”. Penn & Teller also appear.
One thing I love about reissues of old albums is when they have information regarding the recording sessions for the individual tracks. This is more a thing that happens with jazz albums, where many were cobbled together from different sessions and lineups, but I’ve also seen rock reissues that provide background information about the sessions, as well as details about single releases, chart positions, and so forth.
I would love something similar to exist for TV shows that are made of short segments, particularly sketch comedy shows like SCTV, Kids in the Hall, and SNL.
Sketches include “Monastery”, “Miss Pregnant Teenage America”, “The Pat Stevens Show”, “The Limits Of The Imagination”, “Name That Tune”, “Master Thespian”, and “Concerto”. Al Green performs “Going Away” and “True Love”.
Sketches include: “Press Conference”, “Gulf Coast Furniture Warehouse” “Cleveland Vice”, “Death of a Gunfighter”, “Hospital”, “That Black Girl”, “Big Ball Of Sports”, “No Offense” and “Jack’s Discount Emporium”. The Replacements perform “Bastards Of Young” and “Kiss Me On The Bus”. Sam Kinison also appears.