The overthinker
/I've been lost in my own head for the last little while.
Read MoreI've been lost in my own head for the last little while.
Read MoreIn the wake of the Orlando shooting, I'm reminded just how thankful I am for the lifeline that is the Internet and social media; seeing my friends express their personal feelings over the matter rather than reverting to some ready-made impersonal #prayfororlando. I'm grateful for the rage of the activist communities fighting back against attempts to downplay the queer and racial identities of those slaughtered, and denouncing those that express false solidarity and cynically use the LGBT community as a cudgel against Muslims and immigrants.
I'm still processing this tragedy. I suspect I will be for a long time.
Read MoreI use the "like" button on various social media sites as a half-assed way to connect with other people. I've call this the "passive like", where you want to acknowledge the post or just say hello, but you just don't have the energy or words to type a comment or response. Likes are empty calories. I need to stop this pattern, or at least hit like more judiciously and try to comment instead. Elan Morgan (aka Schmutzie) wrote a great article a while back about how she decided to stop reflexively hitting the "like" button on Facebook. I may have tried to do that a while back, only to regress back to the instinctual clicking of the button. Do I really think I'm actually interacting with people this way? It's like going to the convenience store for a chocolate bar, bag of chips and can of pop instead of taking the time to put together a more filling meal.
I worry that I can't really think of anything to say to people anymore. I supposed that's another danger of sharing thoughts and feelings on so many different outlets. Everything has to be so watered down and generalized. I keep meaning to write people letters, but what's my motivation in doing this: the act of sharing pent-up thoughts and emotions, or the hope of a response?
I have to ask myself what my aspirations and motivations are for my writing and photography. Am I trying to say anything, or am I more driven by the idea of gaining access to certain circles and communities? On some level, am I merely seeking validation for whatever I put out at the expense of authentic self-expression? I'm sometimes afraid everything I put out is just quick crayon drawings of different things I see and like.
Personal website of photographer and writer Bronwyn Douwsma.
I’m on the bus. It’s too early to be human and I haven’t had my coffee yet so I don’t really want to do much; maybe read or listen to music, things that help tune out the other people or the monotony of the commute. When I leave the suburbs, it's usually dark. I sometimes look out the windows, but more to see how far I’ve traveled than at anything interesting. By the time I arrive downtown, I can see the sun coming up over the harbour.
The year is winding down. I’m preparing to go to New Brunswick for my regular Christmas visit with the family; my travel arrangements up there have all been taken care of. I haven’t bothered with Christmas shopping yet; my cash flow was a little tight until my last paycheque came in, and my tolerance for the malls has dropped over the years. Everything costs too much money now.
If there was one word to describe the 13th season of SNL, it would be “consistent”. No longer on the bubble thanks to the previous year’s success, SNL in 1987-88 continued pretty much in the same direction as the last season with a little more confidence and a little less to prove.
Sketches include “Pumping Up With Hans & Franz”, “Wilson Trap Doors”, “Church Chat”, “Airline”, “Jorge Garcia, Nice Guy Dictator”, “The Cop & The Prostitute”, “When Great Minds Meet” and “Pirates”. 10,000 Maniacs performs “Like The Weather” and “What’s The Matter Here”.
Sketches include “Calgary 1988”, “Giant Businessman”, “The Bean Cafe”, “The Pat Stevens Show”, “Girl Watchers”, “Computer Panic”, “Casey Kasem Sings The Beatles”, “Delivery Room”, “Stand-Ups III”, and “The Pawn Shop”. Randy Travis performs “Forever And Ever, Amen” and “What’ll You Do About Me”.
“Dining With LaRue” sketches include “Promo: Take The Money And Run”, “Raised By Geese”, “Big Giant Restaurant”, “Relaxing With Raoul”, “National Council of Antique and Restricted Automatic Weapons”, and “Dining With LaRue”.
“The Flaming Turkey” sketches include “The Two Goofs Grocery Store”, “PSA: Mental Illness”, “Insights with Hugh Betcha”, “Promo: Meet The Pawnbroker”, “SCTV News” “Polardak ESP-1 Camera”, “Firing Squad” and “SCTV Big Cultural Event: The Flaming Turkey”.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted here.