It's only been a week and a half since my last post here but it feels like longer; as expected, I'm still adjusting to the new job. It's not so much the work itself as the small things: the disruption to my routine, learning policy and procedures, and getting used to new people. The last one is usually the most exhausting part.
Read MoreIt's my birthday today; I'm 36. So far it's going far better than my 35th birthday, which was mostly spent in bed recovering from a half-assed night out (or two), which was more to keep myself out of the apartment and distract me from my brain than to enjoy myself or be with friends.
Read MoreI apologize for not writing in here for a few weeks, and on personal (ie. non-dream, non-abstract thoughts) matters for even longer. My plan to write in a cafe at the same time each week hit a snag mid-month, partially due to bad weather, partially due to boredom with the routine, and partially due to energy levels.
Read MoreEver since I started writing back here in November, I feel compelled to keep you all in the loop of what's been going on in my life. It's funny; I've tried private journals and diaries before but never really stuck with them past a few days or up to a half a month, despite the appeal of being able just bleed raw feelings onto the page. Maybe the accountability of posting in public appeals to me more.
Read MoreWhat is the generally accepted demarcation of middle age? Is it a set chronological age or is it when certain milestones are reached?
Read MoreI wrote this about two years ago. Relationships were on my mind at the time as a few of my friends had gone through breakups the previous fall; as much as I was trying to keep things vague in the post, I was also trying to work through some of my own feelings by writing about them, still blindsided and conflicted over the automatic neurochemical reactions I kept experiencing with a specific person a while back (part of the equation: for the first time in at least 10 years, it was a woman). As far as I know, nothing was going to come of it, but I still try to keep the number of real-world interactions to a minimum because I don't want any involuntary emotions leaking out.
Read MoreJanuary still hasn't ended yet, but it feels like ages since the new year began. I'm not sure whether it's the weather (a few storms, but no actual storm days aside from an early close) or something else but time seemed to slow down this month.
Read MoreI want to thank all those who responded to my last post; I haven't been so great at finding the time and brainpower to send my reply to your kind e-mails as of yet, but rest assured that I will sooner or later. (Also, keep them coming! I take a look at my site analytics to see where my traffic comes from, and wonder who's visiting the page.)
Read MoreI miss e-mail. I still get plenty of new things filling up my inbox, but just like the box in my apartment lobby, most of what I get is bill notifications, subscriptions, and junk mail. The odd piece of correspondence from another human being slips through on occasion, but not enough for my liking.
Read MoreI finally decided to go to a walk-in clinic on November 23rd regarding my depression. This was a step I had been thinking about taking for a little while, but something in me held me back.
Read MoreI wonder if it's worth it to keep this site.
Read MoreI'm not going to mince words: I'm depressed.
Read MoreI’ve been trying to come up with a personal blog post for a little while. Maybe this comes with the trap of having an online space signed with your name, but I’m afraid of posting what I truly feel because I worry about how such a post will reflect on me. Every time I consciously try to write something I end up generalizing things so much to the point where it rings false.
Read MoreLast summer, I offered pay-what-you-can portrait sessions; I did three of the ten promised shoots, edited one set, and then put my camera away sometime in late August, and haven't taken it out since.
Read MoreLeonard Cohen is gone. It was an inevitability, telegraphed by the man himself in recent months, but seeing the official status at the top of my Facebook feed was an unwelcome surprise tonight. Right now, it doesn’t feel much like the big loss I expected to feel; in a year that already claimed David Bowie and Prince, where voters in the UK and US legitimized hatred and resentment of the other, Cohen’s death almost seems anticlimactic. Just another light gone out after our eyes already adjusted to the darkness.
Read MoreI'm back among the ranks of the employed. It's another temp gig, but I'm glad to be earning money again instead of trying to make ends meet on EI (It's not fun).
Read MoreI'm in a little bit of a rut. Unemployment will do that to you, even when you're trying to keep busy with job applications and a weekly writing project, but the things that make for good stories are come second to making sure the rent and bills are paid, and there are only so many things you can do to spice up the job hunt process.
Read MoreIn the wake of the Orlando shooting, I'm reminded just how thankful I am for the lifeline that is the Internet and social media; seeing my friends express their personal feelings over the matter rather than reverting to some ready-made impersonal #prayfororlando. I'm grateful for the rage of the activist communities fighting back against attempts to downplay the queer and racial identities of those slaughtered, and denouncing those that express false solidarity and cynically use the LGBT community as a cudgel against Muslims and immigrants.
I'm still processing this tragedy. I suspect I will be for a long time.
Read MoreI'm still a bit numb and sad about the senseless shooting at a gay nightclub in Orlando. I'm angry too, but mostly at Donald Trump, who wasted no time in gloating about how this incident somehow justifies his racism.
I'm not surprised he did that.
I'm not surprised yet another mass shooting happened either.
Read MorePersonal website of photographer and writer Bronwyn Douwsma.
I’m on the bus. It’s too early to be human and I haven’t had my coffee yet so I don’t really want to do much; maybe read or listen to music, things that help tune out the other people or the monotony of the commute. When I leave the suburbs, it's usually dark. I sometimes look out the windows, but more to see how far I’ve traveled than at anything interesting. By the time I arrive downtown, I can see the sun coming up over the harbour.
The year is winding down. I’m preparing to go to New Brunswick for my regular Christmas visit with the family; my travel arrangements up there have all been taken care of. I haven’t bothered with Christmas shopping yet; my cash flow was a little tight until my last paycheque came in, and my tolerance for the malls has dropped over the years. Everything costs too much money now.
If there was one word to describe the 13th season of SNL, it would be “consistent”. No longer on the bubble thanks to the previous year’s success, SNL in 1987-88 continued pretty much in the same direction as the last season with a little more confidence and a little less to prove.
Sketches include “Pumping Up With Hans & Franz”, “Wilson Trap Doors”, “Church Chat”, “Airline”, “Jorge Garcia, Nice Guy Dictator”, “The Cop & The Prostitute”, “When Great Minds Meet” and “Pirates”. 10,000 Maniacs performs “Like The Weather” and “What’s The Matter Here”.
Sketches include “Calgary 1988”, “Giant Businessman”, “The Bean Cafe”, “The Pat Stevens Show”, “Girl Watchers”, “Computer Panic”, “Casey Kasem Sings The Beatles”, “Delivery Room”, “Stand-Ups III”, and “The Pawn Shop”. Randy Travis performs “Forever And Ever, Amen” and “What’ll You Do About Me”.
“Dining With LaRue” sketches include “Promo: Take The Money And Run”, “Raised By Geese”, “Big Giant Restaurant”, “Relaxing With Raoul”, “National Council of Antique and Restricted Automatic Weapons”, and “Dining With LaRue”.
“The Flaming Turkey” sketches include “The Two Goofs Grocery Store”, “PSA: Mental Illness”, “Insights with Hugh Betcha”, “Promo: Meet The Pawnbroker”, “SCTV News” “Polardak ESP-1 Camera”, “Firing Squad” and “SCTV Big Cultural Event: The Flaming Turkey”.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted here.