Lessons of 2019

/
Lessons of 2019

It’s the first day of the new year, and I’ve been seeing a lot of people reflect on the previous 365 days on social media. I thought I would do something similar, but I don’t want to do a straight recap of what I did last year; you can read my old posts if you want to get an idea of a lot of what I’ve been doing, and some threads I need to wait and see how they turn out before I write about them here. Instead, I thought I’d try to come up with a small list of things I learned from my experiences in the past year.

Read More

Letters (ghosts)

/

One:

I don't know if I've ever been in love, but this may be the closest thing to it I've ever experienced.

Two:

I worry that the ground shifted in our friendship; there is a distance between us that wasn't there.

Three:

I use the word attraction to describe whatever it was I began feeling about you, but I don't even know how accurate that word is for the mess I've found myself in.

Read More

Them's the berries

/

I wrote this about two years ago. Relationships were on my mind at the time as a few of my friends had gone through breakups the previous fall; as much as I was trying to keep things vague in the post, I was also trying to work through some of my own feelings by writing about them, still blindsided and conflicted over the automatic neurochemical reactions I kept experiencing with a specific person a while back (part of the equation: for the first time in at least 10 years, it was a woman). As far as I know, nothing was going to come of it, but I still try to keep the number of real-world interactions to a minimum because I don't want any involuntary emotions leaking out. 

Read More

Surrender

/

I'm usually not that comfortable around people until I know them well enough. I love good conversation, but I have to be past that awkward get-to-know-you stage in order for my guard to fall; unless I'm completely relaxed around a person and completely familiar with their energy, face-to-face conversation is a stilted chore.

Read More