Why does January feel like an eternity this year? I know it always seems to drag, but this year it really seems like New Years Day was four months ago instead of four weeks.
Read MoreTwo weeks into 2020. I’m exhausted.
It’s not just the news cycle, even if everything about Australia, Iran, Trump, Putin, and the Democratic primaries made these two weeks seem like years in themselves. Winter’s always triggered my depression and this year is no different; it also doesn’t help that I caught a bit of a cold last week.
Read MoreIt’s the first day of the new year, and I’ve been seeing a lot of people reflect on the previous 365 days on social media. I thought I would do something similar, but I don’t want to do a straight recap of what I did last year; you can read my old posts if you want to get an idea of a lot of what I’ve been doing, and some threads I need to wait and see how they turn out before I write about them here. Instead, I thought I’d try to come up with a small list of things I learned from my experiences in the past year.
Read MoreI’m going to be going to my parents’ place in Miramichi for the holidays, and it’s something I both look forward to and dread. As good as it is to visit my family (as well as all their pets), there are so many things happening that I usually feel overwhelmed and stressed after a few days, and the combination of staying in a small house with four other adults and a general lack of privacy wears me out fairly quickly. When I was younger, the Christmas season was more exciting, but as an adult I just want to get through them as quickly as possible.
Through trial and error, I’ve found a few strategies that help me get through my visits.
Read MoreThe internet (rightfully) gets a lot of flak for a lot of things, but one thing I still love about it is that I have found so many other people whose stories and experiences I can relate to. This is the main thing that continues to attract me to blogging: I love having the opportunity to show little bits of myself and my world, and I love the feeling that comes when I read something that resonates with me on a personal level.
Read MoreI shaved off my beard and eyebrows last week. I had been looking in the mirror and feeling a disconnect between my inner self and the reflection looking back at me; it’s just like when my hair grows past the point where my pattern baldness is visible in my shadow.
Read MoreI had to take a break from the personal blog last week because I was feeling a little worn down again. I think it’s a combination of a few things: overload from the news cycle, overwhelming feelings (some of which I decided to finally book an appointment with a therapist to figure out), and the time change making it dark by the time I head home (I’ve always been affected by this time of year).
Read MoreI want to thank the people who filled out the survey in last week’s post; someone suggested I give my own answers to the questions I posed, so I figured that’s a way to meet my post-a-week quota. (By the way, if you still haven’t answered the survey, feel free to go ahead. It’s anonymous, goes straight to my e-mail inbox, and won’t be shared with anyone.)
Read MoreI’m not feeling especially inspired to write much this week; I had to clean the kitchen again for a follow-up treatment from the exterminators, so there really wasn’t much time to devote to finding some story to tell about my own life. I’m also about to start on another project soon and want to focus on that for a bit. I’ll still post here every week, but I just needed a rest (of sorts).
In the meantime, I want to know people are reading these things, so here’s another anonymous form you can fill out.
Read MoreThe darker days have been making it harder for me to wake up lately.
Read MoreI've been a little more cavalier about adding people on Facebook lately; sometimes I go through spurts where I browse the “people you may know” list for new connections.
Read MoreI took a short vacation to Boston the last week of September.
Read MoreHalifax was hit by Hurricane Dorian, the same storm that caused so much damage in the Bahamas, last weekend. It was only a category 2 by the time it got here, but we’re not really accustomed to the storms being hurricane-strength when they reach Canada.
Read MoreI hadn’t taken out my camera in about two years, but have been feeling the itch to update my portrait gallery for a while. My friends Steve and Alecia took me up on my offer and invited me to come with them and their son to Switch Dartmouth (for privacy reasons, I am not including any pictures I got of their son here).
My brain and body haven’t been the most cooperative this summer.
Read MoreIt’s been a little while since I’ve posted here.
Read MoreI’m in a weird headspace this week, and it’s not one I like.
Read MoreMy energy has been off for the past little while, and most of my free time usually involves me sleeping or wanting to be back home to sleep. I don’t know whether this is a side effect of my medication, some other underlying medical reason, or just another depressive spell. A lot of the time I don't want to do anything enough to endure the slightest bits of effort they take.
Read MoreI took a short break from social media last weekend; I’m not sure what specifically triggered it, but when I made a deliberate choice not to check in on my feeds, it felt good. I decided to take another hiatus from starting after work today and lasting until the morning of the 23rd. I haven’t felt like I had enough focus, motivation or energy lately (and definitely wasn’t using it to be social), so I hope this will help with that and let me find my voice again.
I’m leaving Facebook Messenger on my phone because family members use that to check in, but I also appreciate e-mails (bjdwsm@gmail.com) or text messages (not posting my number here, sorry).
Read MorePersonal website of photographer and writer Bronwyn Douwsma.
I’m on the bus. It’s too early to be human and I haven’t had my coffee yet so I don’t really want to do much; maybe read or listen to music, things that help tune out the other people or the monotony of the commute. When I leave the suburbs, it's usually dark. I sometimes look out the windows, but more to see how far I’ve traveled than at anything interesting. By the time I arrive downtown, I can see the sun coming up over the harbour.
The year is winding down. I’m preparing to go to New Brunswick for my regular Christmas visit with the family; my travel arrangements up there have all been taken care of. I haven’t bothered with Christmas shopping yet; my cash flow was a little tight until my last paycheque came in, and my tolerance for the malls has dropped over the years. Everything costs too much money now.
Looking back at my writing about SNL from years ago, I now feel like I was a bit harsh on the show at times. Maybe it was just disappointment about talented performers being used for the most irritating sketches possible at the expense of their range. It was also partially untreated depression and burnout.
If there was one word to describe the 13th season of SNL, it would be “consistent”. No longer on the bubble thanks to the previous year’s success, SNL in 1987-88 continued pretty much in the same direction as the last season with a little more confidence and a little less to prove.
Sketches include “Pumping Up With Hans & Franz”, “Wilson Trap Doors”, “Church Chat”, “Airline”, “Jorge Garcia, Nice Guy Dictator”, “The Cop & The Prostitute”, “When Great Minds Meet” and “Pirates”. 10,000 Maniacs performs “Like The Weather” and “What’s The Matter Here”.
Sketches include “Calgary 1988”, “Giant Businessman”, “The Bean Cafe”, “The Pat Stevens Show”, “Girl Watchers”, “Computer Panic”, “Casey Kasem Sings The Beatles”, “Delivery Room”, “Stand-Ups III”, and “The Pawn Shop”. Randy Travis performs “Forever And Ever, Amen” and “What’ll You Do About Me”.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted here.